Love and Gravity

Scene: (A gathering of scientific minds of all ages chatting away to glory over nothing, everybody busy speaking about one’s own analysis and nobody even listening to one another.)

Enter Sir Isaac Newton with a half eaten apple in his hand...lost in thought...

VOLTAIRE: What is wrong Monsieur? You look charged out. Is your“cell-f” (self) okay?

NEWTON: In one of the rarest occasions where I was contemplating in my garden over nothing (scratching his temple)..I came up with this. (Showing his half-eaten apple)

VOLTAIRE: (confused)..Forgive my questioning for I have no intention of offending you Lord Newton, but what is so significant about a half eaten apple that has already lost half its mass it originally owned and hence half its charge?

LAVOISIER: I strongly object Sir.. the mass is not lost. It has only converted itself to different form.. that of energy..The half eaten apple is providing Sir Newton the energy to think.

ÉMILIE DU CHÂTELET: All the while, conserving it's energy. Ain't it love? (looking towards VOLTAIRE who is already slightly blushing)

NEWTON: Aye! Have you ever wondered why apples fall only downwards?

BOOLE: Well, all fruits fall downwards.

NEWTON: Yes but why?

BOOLE: A falling apple AND eating it seems logical, while eating a fruit that went upwards would demand us to fly OR give up eating fruits altogether...and personally I have no intention of giving up eating fruits..

ARISTOTLE: Fair Newton, whom do you blame for this phenomenon?...The tree that let go of the fruit, the thrust that pulled the fruit downwards or the fruit that was too tired to hold on..

NEWTON: That’s not the point....

BOOLE: What is it then?

PAULI: Well, the ‘Exclusion Principle’ states that no two apples can occupy the same state (read position) together. Therefore, for another apple to grow, it must make place for a newer apple. Hence, it just fell.

EINSTEIN: ...and throughout the journey, the fallen apple must have experienced a state of weightlessness..

NEWTON: That only the apple could tell.

SCHRODINGER: Quantum mechanically, the apple has some finite probability of being present in the tree. Well a few microseconds after its fall too.

HEISENBERG:.. Surely you are talking about the quantum mechanical probability of the 'apple' waves. Do you know that? The position of the apple could be determined with certainty when it was simply hanging there...but when it detached itself from its parent tree.. during the fall.. neither its momentum nor its position can be determined with certainty..

MADAME CURIE:.. Like a daughter atom detaching itself from the parent in radioactive phenomenon.

NEWTON:.. A beauty with perfect brains..

EINSTEIN: However beauty is only skin deep.. Perhaps a few microns...of the dimension of nuclear radius.

PIERRE CURIE:... thats deep enough.. How deep do you want?” ADORABLE PANCREAS”?

NEWTON (turning towards Madame Curie and flirting): ..At times I feel so empty from within!

EINSTEIN: Yes Yes you are right..We are nothing but a varied composition of atoms, and atoms are nothing but vast emptiness. It is said that if we could squeeze out all the emptiness from the atom, then the entire humanity could fit into the size of a sugar cube..well probably!

NEWTON: (visibly irritated to see Einstein out do him): Surprising to see you talk about probability. According to you God doesn't play dice,does he?

HAWKINGS:.. (his monitor beeping):..God does not only play dice with the Universe, he throws the dice in a place where we cannot see it..If you look out of the window, you will be surprised to realise that the world as we see today exists as it is simply by mere random chance.

MADAME CURIE: Well, its not surprising.. our very own existence is a random chance too. A random chance of all physiological functions rightly working and interpreting our signals correctly and accurately.

EDWARD NORTON LORENZ: Even if anything is systematic and ordered, a single flapping of wings can disrupt your functioning to levels unimaginable..

ROBERT BROWN: Why are you so agitated like pollen grains placed in a solvent of increasing temperature?

NEWTON: Well....Love is always associated with agitation and restlessness. Have you not heard about my three Universal Laws of Love?

ROBERT BROWN: No!

NEWTON: Let us all settle for a drink first, then I shall explain it to you, my dear friends and their foes!

(Everybody settle for a drink, but at the far end Newton sees C.V Raman holding a glass to the window, and then talk something to others..After noticing him for quite sometime, Newton finally approaches him)

NEWTON: Namaskar!

RAMAN: Namaskaram..(and continues to hold his glass towards the window and observe something).

NEWTON: I have been noticing you for quite some time. Every time you hold a glass to the window and write something but you do not drink it. Is it some kind of a Hindu ritual?

RAMAN:(proudly). Aha!..As you can see when light passes through the alcohol, the light splits itself into three lines each with characteristic wavelength...this is the 'Raman Effect'.

NEWTON(slightly drunk): That is good, but after a few drinks, how do you explain me seeing you three places..here..here and there...

RAMAN: Ha Ha..Well that is the 'Alcohol Effect' in Newton..and the number of me that you see is a function of the amount of drinks you take..they are directly proportional.

NEWTON: How is it that you are not drinking the organic liquid that led to your fame?

RAMAN: See..you can see 'Raman Effect' in Alcohol but not 'Alcohol Effect' in Raman. It is a non-commutative relation.

HOMI BHABA: I am really proud of you..After all the grapes from which this drink is made.. have sensation too..

NEWTON: Yes I can see that (hic!)..that sensation(hic!) is now running in my veins. Now as I had promised to finally reveal my Three Universal Laws of Love.

First Law: A straight boy continues to be in love with a girl unless an external disturbing agent (another girl or in some cases, another creative passion or love for solitude) disturbs his equilibrium.

Second Law: The rate of increase of the boy’s interest towards the newly found is directly proportional to the attention that is reciprocated to him from the cause in mention.

Third Law: To every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Judging the behaviour of the boy, his present acquaintances too move away from him in the opposite direction, and hence the coupling breaks down. Here the boy’s behaviour acting as the action, and the moving away is the reaction, any questions?

BOOLE: Does this law commute?

NEWTON: Definitely! A girl or anyone else has equal free-will to do the same.

LAVOISIER: Well then my dear friend, where does all the love towards the former lover go then?

NEWTON: Love can neither be created or destroyed..It simply changes its form from the Utopian concept of one person to that of another. This is the law of conservation of love.

LAVOISIER: Well then, is it not true that love makes you fly to the seventh heaven. It makes you levitate unlike the fallen apple in your hand.

At this point Newton is struck with an idea....

NEWTON: True!!Love acts as an abstract force that makes you levitate, so it should be true that there should exist a force that pulls you downwards too. That is why all objects fall downwards.

ARCHIMEDES: EUREKA! EUREKA!.. Love acts as a buoyant force that keeps you from drowning.

NEWTON: Yes, surely, contrary to that, there should exist a downward pull too...

Everybody sits down in a contemplative mood again...Well, to this day we know that the force responsible for bringing us down is nothing but gravity..Since they have already started the comparison, between love and gravity, let us extend it here. Besides the four basic forces in nature, as we all know the strong, weak, electromagnetic and gravitational, there exists a fifth force which of course is abstract in nature. This fifth force responsible for lifting us to a higher energy level as stated earlier and also responsible for the happiness of mankind is nothing but love. Out of the four basic forces in nature, gravitational force is the weakest one but well!..strangely this weakest force is responsible for the creation of the world, by bringing ‘masses’ closer to each other.. so safely love maybe an abstract force, but it too is responsible for bringing ‘mankind’ together., and yes like gravity.. love too is attractive in nature.. Love for an idea, a moment, knowledge or music.. It is unlimited in form and unlike energy, love is not conserved or limited in nature..The more you share.. the more it increases..well...happiness being the by-product...!